Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Eternal Meanderings of the Sleepless Mind

Care to take a tour around my mind this morning? I warn you, it can be a scary place. The events as they are about to unfold are actual events and any similarity to actual people is completely intended. These are the meanderings of my mind as we walk around Meijer to do our weekly shopping.

First, I must note that Meijer has the genius "boatload of little kids" cart. It does, however, take a little getting used to. I may, or may not, have run into a few things (luckily not people) over the course of the trip. 

Secondly, this is the first time since the "all's well that ends well" hospital trip that we have gone back to Meijer just the three of us. It started out identically, so as we shimmied our way through the doors in the monster cart and headed to the exact same aisle to pick up the exact same item that never made it out with us last time, I was a little trepidacious. Perhaps if it had been a lovely cool autumn day I would not have had beads of sweat dripping uncomfortably already, only to worry if in the heat of the day and in an un-air-conditioned building, somewhere the Hubs was working on another trip to the ER. I was especially wondering if he had taken me seriously last night when, as he was anticipating the fiery furnace school building last night, I suggested he allow the highest bidder to take him to the ER after he fake-passes out again. I know, not really funny, but well, it's kind of Chandler funny, right?

We made it through those first few moments without incident. I had the hair product in my cart and we were negotiating our way out of the aisle when a woman decides to walk right in front of us coming toward us blocking our way out. Seriously? I am not certain if this woman thought we all worked there, because she kept asking me where the liquid eyeliner was. I did point her in the right direction, but she demanded I walk her there and get the product for her. I am not exaggerating. She loudly insisted that my pointing her in the right direction was not sufficient and that I come there this instant and actually get the product for her. Um, lady, I'm sorry you're not wearing your glasses or have mistaken me with my two littles as someone who works here, but are you kidding me? Of course I obliged, though she was skeptical as to whether I had actually handed her the black liquid eyeliner (I did, I promise). I made a beeline for anywhere but there. I felt a little guilty, but I'll be honest - I don't take well to being ordered around, especially by someone I don't know who takes into no account that I am trying to wheel these two kids through the store as quickly as possible to get back out without an incident of international proportions. There was no "please," there might have been a begrudging "thank you," but mostly just an entitled attitude. You can imagine that the monologue in my mind was perhaps not the most gracious, though I promise it was not R-rated either. Oh, and she did completely ignore the children and had the scowliest face I've seen in a while. We will pray for her after naptime.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. Li'l G did fantastically well listening and not touching things (or putting them back if she did). Little man, however, does not like to sit still and pulled a houdini as he turned completely around in the seat of the cart. Good grief, little man, let's give mama a little break huh? We made it to the check out counter and got in line, which wasn't the worst I had seen, but still a bit long. I mean, why would you have more than three cashiers working on a Tuesday morning, after all? Is it just me? Luckily, there was the sweetest elderly woman in front of us who took a great liking to the kids. I had also figured out whilst dashing through the aisles that if we sang our ABCs, both kids stayed mildly entertained before deciding they needed to belt out in their best operatic diva voices. So she flirted with the little man while Li'l G entertained us with her ABCs. This sweet woman also piled up her groceries so she could make more room on the belt for me to unload while the kids were entertained. Now that woman put a smile on my face. Turns out she has two boys, who she still believes are the sweetest, best boys in the world - nothing like mama love. She was thrilled that I had both a son and a daughter. She was just simply joyful and kind. She saw a "young" mom with two littles who were getting restless and was not only understanding, but went out of her way to keep them a little calmer than I could have on my own. We will be praying for her tonight too. I hope her boys know what a gem of a woman their mother is! 

So that's the story, morning glory. Scowling, bossy people = not my fave but need my prayers. Joyful, helpful people who love on my kids for no reason = my faves! They get my prayers of gratitude in an instant! I guess that wasn't quite such a horrible trip through the inner workings of my mind after all. 

This installment brought to you by the letters A-Z and the numbers 1, and a 2, and a 1,2,3,4. (yes, Li'l G now conducts when we have classical hour over lunch. She is just too much!) Stay cool and hydrated for all y'alls under heat advisories like us!

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