Love & Mercy in a Season of Enmity

You, my child, shall be called the prophet of the Most High;

For you will go before the Lord to prepare His way,

to give His people knowledge of salvation

by the forgiveness of their sins.

 ~ Canticle of Zechariah ~

God is rich in mercy, because of the great love He has for us. Ephesians 2:4

For our Mary's Mantle staff retreat yesterday, we began with a walk through the Holy Doors of Mercy pilgrimage at the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament in Detroit. It seems that theme of mercy would follow me into my morning prayer as I sat with the Magnificat in what may be the only quiet moments of my day. 

I am not always good about praying the morning prayer, but the rhythm and prayers are familiar to me. They risk becoming too familiar, as my tongue rolls over the words to move on to the next prayer. This morning, as I sipped on coffee that had not yet become lukewarm, I forced myself to stop and truly pray the words of the prayers, to let them seep into my heart, to simply be with them for a moment.

These words from the Canticle of Zechariah struck my heart in a new and profound way. Perhaps it is a result of the grace from entering through the Holy Doors yesterday, or perhaps there really is magic found in a cup of coffee that is still hot. The Holy Spirit pierced my heart with this thought - we prepare hearts for Jesus by giving people knowledge of salvation by the forgiveness of their sins. We prepare people to receive Jesus when He comes to them by sharing with them the freedom of God's mercy, which flows from His great love. 

Cue the current state of world affairs and the temptation to shout down the devil. It seems we have forgotten what Pope Francis wishes to remind us in this Year of Mercy. No one - not one human being - is outside the scope of God's mercy. It is available to each and every one of us. Our job, as prophets of the Most High, is to lead people into that great love and mercy. 

I am so saddened by the tone of discourse that has shaped this current political season. So many people I know, love, and esteem - people who have been agents of God's mercy and love in my own life - have fallen prey to demonizing others. It is no secret, I hope, that I find both leading party candidates unsuitable for office. They are, however, created in the image and likeness of God. They are not the devil, no matter how much they are behaving as his stooge. No matter how far away from the divine image they now appear, it is my job to be an emissary of Christ and bring them to his merciful love. 

Certainly, there must be repentance and a choice to walk through the door, and that burden lies on them alone. We must, however, as Christian disciples, not lose sight of the fact that our burden is to remind them of their dignity when they have clearly forgotten. Our burden is not to resort to the calling of names no matter the sins of others. They will have to answer for their sins, and we for ours. 

In fact, I am going to go so far as to say that when another person behaves in a reprehensible fashion, when what they stand for goes against the heart of God, it is then that we are called to love even more courageously. It is then that we are called to remind them that they are made for greater things. It is precisely those who stand for what we deplore who most need our love and mercy. 

‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:32-36

There are only a few days left until the election. As much as I want to hope the tension will abate after the polls close, I fear that this is only the beginning. Let's take a note from St. Luke on this his feast day and remember that in these times, we are prophets of the Most High, declaring a love that defies all understanding. We cling to hope in the One who has already conquered the world. We stand firm being led by the Spirit in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We are ambassadors of Christ, and to Him every life is sacred and soul is preciously worth saving . . . even the ones that seem the darkest. Let's not forget that He would leave us all behind to rescue that one. 

Now, go out there and LOVE friends, LOVE. Let's not let our love for one soul cloud our love for all souls. Jesus thirsts for them all.


Blessings,
Rakhi

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When Life Demands a Cave

It's a new year, and somehow the propensity to write has returned. Given the gaping lapse of posts in November and December, it's clear that my writing mojo has been missing in action. While life has handed me an abundance upon which to reflect (some leading me deeper into the mystery of the heart of Christ, some making me want to lay down in defeat), the words just wouldn't come when I sat down to write. Grand feelings and emotion. Zero capacity to express them in coherent, non-Neanderthal language. "Unga dunga" just didn't seem to cut it for a post.

For those who don't follow me on Facebook or Instagram, let me catch you up. I'm sorry if what is to follow is more of a narrative of events and less reflective. I'm still truly working through all that has happened in the last month or so. Last we left off I was battling a wicked first trimester with little Jojo. Yes, Jojo! We found out early through blood tests I had done that we are indeed having another baby boy...and he wasn't shy about showing himself at the most recent ultrasound. Meet baby Jojo:

(No. I won't share the other snapshot. That's for his baby book later.)

So there I was, sicker than I've been with either of my other two and utterly exhausted upon any activity. That was enough to keep me away from writing, sadly. Unfortunately, that was not all life would throw at me. 

The night before Thanksgiving, we got a call from my mom's neighbor that she hadn't been  able to reach her all day and that she wasn't answering her door though the television was on. Long story short, we arrived to find my mom on the bathroom floor (the Hubs went in first while I stayed by the car with the kids). She was responsive but not entirely coherent. After we called an ambulance and insisted she go to the ER, we found out she had a massive hemorrhagic stroke, and without surgery, would die within a day. 

Eventually consenting to the surgery (that's right - she refused twice first), we spent  much of that night in the surgical waiting room. Much of our Thanksgiving and the two weeks to follow would be spent in ICU waiting for her to regain full consciousness. 

That was a very long two weeks, friends. There were moments where I didn't think she would make it. There were moments where I wondered if we made the right decision to keep pestering her to have the surgery (we did). I am so blessed to work for an organization that let me take whatever time I needed to be with her. I am forever grateful that my job was never on the line. I know not everyone has that certainty.

She finally made it out of ICU and into inpatient rehab, but she was definitely in bad shape. They didn't keep her long since there was no plan of her returning to her home. I was so overwhelmed with the fast pace at which I was needing to learn what our options were and the gravity of the decisions I was going to be making. 

Christmas Day looked a little different this year.
The kids aren't quite sure what to make of it all.

Mom never wanted to be in a facility in her old age. Independent or dead. That was her plan. Of course, we all know how our plans work out. Since her discharge from the hospital, she's been in sub-acute rehab and receiving intense therapy. She is improving, albeit slowly.  Her mind, though, seems somewhat gone, which is not surprising given the severity of her stroke. Having a tennis ball size clot form in your brain after a bleed is bound to have an impact. Mom now lives in a world where people from her past visit her (like my dad and her dad, both of whom have been gone for quite some time). I'm not sure if we call it dementia as no one has actually diagnosed her as such. I don't know if it is permanent, but it's the one constant that doesn't seem to improve since she woke up. 

We are now diving head first into getting our house ready to put on the market so we can move somewhere that opens up the possibility of mom coming to live with us if she is able. With a new baby on the way and the possibility of having mom living with us, I can't dwell too long on how different my life may look in the next six months or it becomes entirely overwhelming. 

The one thing that people keep reminding me is to take one day at a time. That's a challenge for a rabid planner like me who'd be entirely comfortable with giving God my life plan and having Him rubber stamp it. Yet it seems everywhere I look there is a reminder that He will carry me...carry us. He gives us grace that is sufficient for the day - no more, no less. In this year of mercy, He shows me over and over how tender and new His mercy is - not just every morning, but in every moment and each minute detail. Nothing is too small, and nothing is too big. Just when I begin to despair and sink into the darkness of the situation, He brings me hope and light. 

I don't know how all this will turn out. While mom is improving, I don't know if it will be enough for her to be able to live with us safely. I pray that's the case, and that God would have mercy on her too. I do know that the road isn't going to get easier anytime soon. There are legal issues to contend with to be able to provide her with the best care, and there is just the reality that my energy only lasts so long. I am an only child and can only do so much. I have to rely on the expertise and kindness of others to help us through, to be there for her when I cannot (and let go of the guilt of not being able to be there at all times). I have to let go of the guilt coming from her emotions of boredom and loneliness. I have to remember my vocation in all this and give myself to my own family, two of whom are too young to fully grasp why mommy leaves so much. 

We will all be okay in the end. I know this. I trust Him in this. While last year was my year of empty with God, this year may well be the year of surrender and trust. I cannot do this. He can. This certainty carries me through the waves of grief, exhaustion, and despair when the darkness pulls me under. 

I cannot, You can. It's all Yours, Lord. It is all Yours. She belongs to You, we all belong to You. Have mercy on us. Give us strength for the day and allow us to rest in You. All is Yours. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All. Lead the way and let us follow it instead of running in frenzied circles. You alone see all as it should be. Make it so. 

I hope the holiday season in your own families was far less eventful, and that the new year brings with it much joy and hope for what is to come. I'm back for now, though I make few promises about the regularity or content of my writing until some of these uncertainties are settled. Thank you for keeping me company through all of this despite my absence.

With love and blessings from our family to yours,

Rakhi

Loving Lavishly: How to Re-brand the Church of No

"Post-modern people are much more intrigued by our hope than our doctrine. Until our existential hope, our serenity, our wholeness, our love, our sanctity is visible, they won't listen to our propositions." ~ Sherry Weddell, Catherine of Siena Institute

I found this to be wholly true while working in young adult ministry. Whilst sitting in a coffee shop intentionally loitering, I once had a half hour conversation with a young woman I "loitered into" who said she had left the church because she never found Christ there. It is shocking to think that people can step into a Catholic Church and not find Jesus. What she found were people who were obsessed with getting out of Mass on time, rude to one another, unconcerned with their neighbors, and complaining about church altogether. 

Her question to me was direct. "Where is the joy?" If we believe the gospel message to be true, where is our joy? Where is our hope and enthusiasm? Where is our love for one another? Where is our thirst for more of Christ? Those were great questions for me to consider both as a minister and as a disciple. If we are not setting ourselves apart from the rest of the world in an attractive way (and by this I mean not just arguing about sexual morality), what draws and woos the nonbeliever toward the heart of Christ?

When I think of the faith I hope to pass on to my children, it doesn't involve a list of dos and don'ts. What I wish for them is a deep and abiding friendship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I hope that they take with them a intimate understanding of how beloved they are, how much their God loves them in and through anything, no matter how dark or dirty - that their Father in heaven waits for them always with arms outstretched ready to dust them off and pick them up when they turn to Him. Anywhere. Anytime. Forever. I hope that this understanding leads them to heed His word and commands, because they are made in love for their good.

Another friend once lamented that he wished that when people heard the word Catholic, they thought of compassion, mercy, and love instead of rules. I found that to be such an insightful and sad statement about my family. After all, we are a family in Christ. It cannot be denied that our family is known more for its rules and restrictions than the love we show the world. We have become the Church of No. It is heartbreaking, especially given that the Church is the largest provider of social and charitable services throughout the world. 

There are usually two responses when I bring this up. One is a disposition to put the blame on the seeker. "Christ is most fully in OUR church. They are just ignorant." Another is to blame the church. "Well if the Church would get with the times, this wouldn't be an issue. The Church needs to get over itself." Both leave gaping holes and fail to address the issue, in my humble opinion. Where do I think the problem lies? I think it lies with me. For that matter, I may also think it lies with you. Sorry. You're not off the hook. 

I don't love lavishly enough. We don't give abundantly enough. My God is a lavish Lover. He waits to pour out His mercy, His love, His joy, His hope into the hearts of every person on this earth. I'm too wrapped up in myself to help make that happen. I see limitations. I get embroiled in the struggles of daily life. I put up walls to protect myself and hold back. I make judgments on who I have time for and who I do not.

Gaudium et Spes, one of the many documents to come out of the Second Vatican Council, instructs us very clearly on this matter. In it, the Council fathers wrote, 

The joys and the hopes, the griefs and the anxieties of the men of this age, especially those who are poor or in any way afflicted, these are the joys and hopes, the griefs and anxieties of the followers of Christ. GS, 1

How do we then begin to shift public opinion about the Catholic Church? How do we make sure that when people think of the Church they experience Jesus? We take on the joys and sorrows of the world. We go about our Father's business. We lead with love. We reclaim the beatitudes. We approach one another with "Blessed are you. . ." instead of "woe to you. . ." We return to an active participation in the Works of Mercy, both spiritual and corporal. We never let ourselves to be so filled with sorrow that we forget the joy of the resurrection (thank you, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta!).

This is not to say that the Truth is not important. It is simply to say this: If we are so focused on the morality of the church that we forget to proclaim the person of Christ, we ourselves have missed the point. If we forget that we are not here to win people over to "our side" but to lead souls to the heart of Christ, we may accomplish neither. If we are so scandalized by the secular that we fail to engage it, we will never woo anyone to the Lover of every soul. 

How we live and what we say should help a person to come to know that the God of the universe, the Creator of every star in the sky and every drop in the ocean, who is magnanimous, omniscient, and omnipotent, took on human flesh in all its frailty, out of love for us, in the person of Jesus Christ, and offered it back up again in death so He could lead us back to eternal life with the Father.

What does all this mean? While there is not a one-size-fits-all approach, here are a few suggestions based on my experiences and interactions with non-believers and non-Catholics (and having been one!):

1) Live with authentic joy. This doesn't mean a plastic cheeriness in all things. It means that at the end of the day, even in our greatest sorrow, we live with confidence and hope in a victory that has already been won.

2) Tame your tongue. Speak only words that lift up and encourage. Avoid the temptation to be judge, jury, and jailer. Lead people by example to the freedom that lies in following Christ.

3) Lead with love. Help people to fall in love with Jesus. Show them how much the Father loves them in and despite the condition of their lives. Serve them. Pray for and with them. Grieve with them. Suffer with them. See them when they feel invisible. Love them when they feel unlovable. Notice the little things and rejoice with them. Let others know they are not alone.

4) Engage others where they are. Find common ground and language to help them begin to see how God is working in their lives and through their experiences.

5) Seek after Jesus. Deepen your own life in Christ, and live it out loud. Pray before meals. Read the Bible in public. Walk away from gossip. Let your example create curiosity, and invite others to seek Christ with you.

Together, we can re-brand ourselves from a Church of No into what we truly are: a refuge for all of humanity to encounter transformative love in the person of Christ so we can all be reunited with our Creator in the eternal Kingdom. How do you introduce people to the person of Christ?

We've got some work to do. Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus (all the way TO Jesus)!

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Become an Ambassador Of Love

I went to confession yesterday. Apparently, I was not the only one who felt a need for a little soul scrubbing. In fact, the room was packed and there was a line down the hall. It was so full that the solo priest hearing confessions may have asked us to say our Act of Contrition before entering. I won't go into how I feel about that.

My desire to lay all my garbage at the foot of the cross to be lifted up in mercy initially had nothing to do with the events that had transpired at the end of the week. However, as I prayed about what I was truly seeking freedom from through the sacrament, I realized something. While it may not have been the cause for me to feel ill at ease with the health of my soul, it was certainly contributing to my unease. The "it" my friends was not the actual decision by the Supreme Court to recognize same-sex marriage. At this stage of our culture, I already assumed that to be a foregone conclusion. The "it" that had me so bothered internally had to do with our own reactions to this development. 

So many of those whom I look to for direction and inspiration in faith and morals seemed to have lost their center. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. There was fear. There was resignation. There was excessive melodrama. There was a whole lot of spiraling forward into a bleak future. 

Don't get me wrong. I understand. I do. Our understanding of the world was shaken...or was it? Don't we as Christians still believe the same thing? Isn't our witness needed as much today as it was yesterday? Is all our wailing and toddler-sized tantrum throwing giving witness to our firm faith and confidence that Jesus has already overcome the world? I'd answer that with a GIANT no.

How do we move forward in faith? This question was nagging on my heart as I sat waiting to make my confession. What is it Christ is calling ME to do...or not do? I want to write and speak volumes because I don't want to remain silent. Yet, is that what God is calling me to do? Would all my speaking and writing bring one heart closer to Him? What about all those friends and family I love who are rejoicing with the change of the law in the land? How would my words help them know my love and God's love amid my conviction that as humans we cannot simply legislate natural law away?

You know what I discovered? I have NO idea. That's what. I don't know what the right thing to say is that both affirms the dignity of my LGBT friends and family and acknowledges the pain and suffering they have endured while also sharing what I believe to be God's design for love, life, and humanity. I don't. I just don't. I just got on my knees and threw up my hands and prayed. 

Make me an instrument of your peace, of your love, of your truth. 

May those who see me know You...know Your love, know Your mercy, know Your goodness. 

Why? I am an ambassador of Christ. I am NOT Christ. My job is to bring people to Him, and I will not do that through lectures and tantrums. I will not do that by turning away from those I disagree with or getting into a battle of Facebook statuses and profile pictures. The only way I can be an ambassador of Christ is to be a stranger in a strange land willing to open my heart and walk alongside the people He sends my way, friend and stranger alike.

I got home to read a few more Facebook updates, and this time, I was encouraged - so very encouraged. The first was from the Archdiocese of Denver and their response. 

We here at the Denver Catholic figure that we have two options for how to respond going foward:

Go on the defensive. We've clearly lost the culture war, but we can try to convince the public that our view is the correct one.

Realize that we don't live in a Christian culture, and therefore must engage it as missionaries.

Option one is equivalent to declaring ourselves victims. Option two is to accept the challenge of living as authentic followers of Jesus Christ in a world that has largely forgotten Him.

Jesus Christ is real. We Christians have experienced the sweetness of a personal relationship with Him. Our mission is not to punish or coerce those who have not experienced this—instead, we must invite them into relationship. What better way to do this than to show the joy of living the Catholic faith?

The other was from Fr. Newman of St. Mary's parish in Greenville, South Carolina:

Christians must let go of nostalgia for our faded Christian civilization in order to build it again. If we can see the collapse of cultural Christianity as a great evangelical opportunity, then with joy and love we can proclaim Jesus Christ crucified and risen to the millions of people who now have only debonair nihilism to help them understand the purpose and meaning of their lives.

This was my answer to prayer. This made me feel less guilty about not being infuriated. (Yeah, I felt guilty about not losing it because maybe it meant that I wasn't devoted enough to the law of God.) This gave me...HOPE. And here the Spirit soars. Hope. Joy. Love - authentic love. As we move forward from this monumental day (and it is monumental in our cultural understanding of the nature of man, woman, and humanity), this is the answer. 

Share the joy and hope of Christ. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Love and serve your neighbor in humility.

You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:42-45

Remember that we are not victims, and fear of the future is not from God.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

We are missionaries and ambassadors of the Most High. Claim it in love, and remember that love comes with a cross.

For the love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died. And he died for all, so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised for them...So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, 20

Always remember that our actions speak far louder than our words.

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17

A friend shared this quote today, and it summed up the future for me perfectly.

"Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people; before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children; before you preach to me of your passion for your faith, teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors. In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give." - Cory Booker

The fact is that everything has changed, and nothing has changed all at once. No matter the hurricane around us, we stand firm in He who even the seas obey. No matter the prevailing sentiments of the day, we stand firm in our understanding of who we are designed to be by He who made us. No matter what is thrown at us, we must remain constant in our love for our neighbor. Jesus thirsts for them as He thirsts for us. Let us love first so that we can lead others to Christ. It is Jesus that changes hearts, not us, after all. Let's be sure we are letting Him direct ours and conform it to His. 

Want to know a secret? This is my prayer at every confession and before receiving the Eucharist. Take my heart, Lord, and conform it to Yours. It belongs to You. Lead me and transform me, all I have is Yours. Help me to see everyone as You do. Help me to thirst for them as You do, and to meet all with Love, as You do.

Another secret? I fail miserably, but He dusts me off so I can try again. I've got a feeling there will be a lot of scraped knees as we move forward in this new reality. We will stumble. We will fall. We will give into our temptations to preach and lecture and debate and fear. I know I will. The beautiful thing is that we are not alone in this, so we can remind one another to get up and walk in love and peace and joy instead. 

Go. Preach the Gospel. Serve your neighbor. Let our love be sincere and let us overcome hatred with goodness. Love 'em like Jesus - to the cross and back again...

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SQT On The First Week of Summer, Love, and Hospitality

Well, hello Friday. And hello you old friend Quick Takes. It has been awhile since I've visited. How have you been? The same? Fair enough. Here's a quick update from the fine folks at the Casa (that's us).

--- 1 ---

It's the first week of summer, and it's off to the races, if by races you mean dallying about. While the Hubs was gone, the kids and I took a neighborhood adventure walk (or stroll if you want to get honest about our pace). There has been plenty of playing outside and a little grilling and a healthy dose of summer rain. C'est la vie a la casa!

--- 2 ---

Another big summer goal is almost on the checked off list: our front door facelift! All that is left is to touch up the trim and dream of a new storm door...

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Incidentally, one thing that should have been on our home improvement list was getting a new spray nozzle for the hose in the front yard. It sticks. This didn't seem like a big problem until I was cleaning off the roller from the paint job and the hose became stuck on full force causing the paint from the roller to spray all over. On me. On the house. All. Over. Did you know that paint doesn't just wash off siding? (I had guessed as much, but gave it a foolish try anyway.) So, one bottle of nailpolish remover, a scouring sponge, and a metric ton of elbow grease later, the front of the house no longer looks like a Smurf splattered against it. Let's put that one in the "things I hope to never have to do again" box!

--- 4 ---

Part of the inspiration behind painting the front door, other than covering up the stains on the old "white" one, was to create a more welcoming look. This, of course, means we have to be more welcoming. If you want a great read about opening ourselves up in the here and now, read Laura Kelly Fanucci's post from earlier this week. Her post inspired my own thoughts about hospitality and the meaning of home. Take a read if you missed it, and let me know what you think. What keeps you from opening yourself and your home to others?

--- 5 ---

As I am talking about love, openness, and hospitality, I can't seem to avoid the GIANT elephant in this room, and the not so invisible pachyderm traipsing across the internet today. I am desperately trying to think of something witty, funny, and off the wall here, but it really just comes down to the plain old fact of the SCOTUS decision on gay marriage, making it legal in all 50 states. I've seen those on the right act as though the sky is falling, and those on the left celebrating the victory of love.

The fact that there is a right and a left on this is perhaps the biggest issue of all, in my not so humble opinion. I've said it before and I will say it again - these are not political issues at their core. They are issues of humanity in which there are actual humans involved. Sadly, we have allowed political machines to take over. Carefully crafted messages lead one side to hate/distrust the other inhibiting any possibility of fruitful dialogue and understanding on a large scale. Gay marriage proponents are heathens causing the destruction of good society as we know it. Gay marriage dissenters are bigoted devils wanting to destroy love and happiness. How can we possibly arrive at a consensus of how to live in a pluralistic society when those are the scripts that are being played over and over? 

I say this to my brothers and sisters in Christ, because I believe change begins with us. There have been moments of moral decline throughout the history of the world, but Jesus reminds us that He has overcome the world. Our work here is to make disciples of all the nations. If we are so intimately embroiled in proving we are right about the day's moral and political issues, are we our own stumbling block in leading others to the heart of a loving Christ? Yes, Christ is also a judge, but first he is a Lover. Can we please take the offensive (and not in a combative sense) finally and be about God's business? Can we admit that we will never change hearts and minds - that conversion is the work of the Holy Spirit? Can we open our hearts and our lives to walk with those who we intimately and passionately disagree with so we can start to form relationships to make it possible for the Holy Spirit to enter into our lives in power? Can we please stop arguing? It makes my heart hurt that when people think about Christ and Catholicism that the words bigot and hate are involved. Please, oh please, choose your words carefully. Choose love. Choose mercy. Choose kindness. Allow words to have meaning, speak and preach truth, but please, oh please, remember that fragile hearts are tied to those truths. 

Whatever battle may come, and believe you me there is a battle looming, please let them always say of us that we chose love as much as we chose truth. They cannot be separated as Christ Himself is both Love and Truth personified. Yes, love has lost all meaning, but that is because Love has ceased to be Lord. Ideologies have replaced faith in Christ. Please, and truly for the love of Christ, can we embrace Him as Lord again? Preach Him as Love again? Somewhere He has been lost in the battle for righteousness as we react to every volley thrown at us. We have the fullness of Truth...the fullness of Love. Let's stop letting the world write the story and show them what...and who...the face of real Love is again. It is the face on the cross. It is the blood poured out. It is sacrifice and it is mercy before the judgment, which belongs to God in the end. Love one another, please, oh please. For the sake of the Gospel, love one another beyond an ideology. 

--- 6 ---

Well, that wasn't such a quick take up there. I will fast-forward through this one and just tell you that there are two quick "tutorials" up for those of you who may still want to join in the June Sketch-Along and help to share the joy of the Lord through art. There is one on the very basics of hand lettering, and one on creating digital images. I hope you will join me! 

--- 7 ---

...and now to leave you with a laugh, hopefully!

They say kids say the darndest things. Well, this one's a doozy! Gianna is about waist high now, and she is a lover of kisses, which can make things a little awkward. Like when she comes up behind us to give us a kiss. On the rear. And then says, "I kissed your butt!" proudly, the simultaneous hilarity and irony totally lost on her sweet four year old self. 

That's life at the Casa in a snippet or seven! For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't The Lyceum!

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Homemaking 101: Creating A Room for Love to Live

Help me to see people unfolding and not projects undone. Help me to set aside ego and externals and endless to-do lists. Help me to embrace humility always and hospitality anyway. Help me to make a Christ room in my house and my heart. ~Laura Kelly Fanucci 

As I read these words from Laura's post, "The House is a Mess; Come On In," they gave me more than a moment's pause. Perhaps it is because our house is in a perpetual state of disarray, some due to the natural state of being with two children under 5, and some because cleaning is not my natural state of being. Yes, I would rather be typing this than dusting the shelves.

Her words remind me that I need to constantly be seeking and making room for Christ in my natural state and not waiting for the perfect time. Beyond that, they also led me into a deeper reflection about the meaning of a home and what it signifies to the world.

The word "home" invokes a multitude of emotions depending your experience. It can be a memory of comfort and refuge, and at the same time, for some it can be a longing for something that never was. 

In its ideal form, home is a sense of belonging, a deep pool of love, a place to rest and reignite the spark of the divine when life has threatened to snuff it out. Home is where we begin to understand and unveil our deepest identity - the beloved. 

Home does not belong to us - it is given to us, as is every blessing, to share. Our homes are places of gathering, of invitation, of community. They are the places where we come together to laugh and to weep, to fill ourselves and be emptied. Radical hospitality begins with recognizing that our homes are not just fortresses for our own refuge.

Radical hospitality is inviting people into ourselves. Our whole selves. Our messy, we are a work in progress but at least we aren't standing still, selves. Why? It gives others permission to breathe. And live. And be. Just be. To know that we don't need to put on airs when we welcome them into the reality of our lives shows our confidence in who we are, not what. It shows that we understand that our homes are places where love happens, where life is lived, and where grace is poured out because we know we need it in abundance.

When I wait to have people over until the perfect time, or until the laundry is put away, or clothes and toys are not strewn about, or the floors are finally swept, mopped, and perfect clean...when I wait for an image of what is not real, I put up a wall between myself and the one I'm welcoming. We create a facade of expectation that keeps one another at bay instead of welcoming each other in to say, "yes, we are in this together."

Scenes from real life...

Writing this gives me some anxiety. It means that I may actually have to do what I say. I may have to invite others in to the mess that is my life and my home and suffer the embarrassment. Can I ask you to brave the journey with me?

What's the worst that could happen? You get a reputation for being a sloppy homemaker? Others talk about what your house looks like? I guess that's a price we have to pay if we are going to try to create room for love to happen. Are we brave enough to look past the raised eyebrows and open our homes to love one another even in the middle of our messes? 

If we, as Laura reminds us, are to make room for Christ in the mess, we have to make room for one another without fear as well. As we welcome one another, we welcome Him. Who knows? Maybe we will even be entertaining angels who may like leftover cheerios, playing with toys, and building blanket forts. Can you imagine their disappointment if we had hidden them away?!?

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, 

for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Until next time, let's love 'em like Jesus...messy house or not!

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7 Valuable Life Lessons: Virtues of an Imperfect Mother

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a different parish than I normally attend. It was one of those weeks where the Hubs and I split Masses due to work and other events, so I was flying solo. While it is nice to be able to focus on the Mass without five trips to the bathroom and a few more to the water fountain, when your mind is used to wandering with a toddler, it finds other places to wander even if the trip back to Jesus is faster flying solo.

This particular week, I noticed at this parish how nicely dressed the families were. Crisp, clean fabrics, flowing dresses, girls with their hair braided and not flying astray...this was in sharp contrast to our family's slightly disheveled children with shirts coming untucked and hair flying in a million directions.

Other times, I wonder what the parents whose children sit through Mass are doing differently. Our brood is an active one, and it can become a little disheartening to see other families sitting calmly through Mass while we take yet one more walk around the gathering area. The old nature vs. nurture questions start cropping up. Is it our parenting that makes them incapable of sitting quietly, or is it just in the their genetic makeup (which is still our doing)? The truth is that it is likely a little of both.

Photo credit: Rubina Mukerjea Roshan

While I can work to change and grow as a parent, it is unlikely that I will change into someone I am not. The same goes for our children. If we spend so much time focusing on what we want to change, we miss out on the beauty there is in the current moment. We are who we are, and there is grace in that.

It is true that through all of this, I want to learn to love better, more selflessly. At the same time, who I am right now is who God has trusted with these children, imperfections and all. Motherhood has been a struggle, no doubt. It is stripping bare all my false selves to reveal the true state of my soul, which is often uglier than I thought. To hit a brick wall over and over has been dizzying, especially for a woman who has been an overachiever for much of her life. In that dizziness, I can start to think there is someone better out there for my children. That is a lie, though, isn't it? There is no better mama for my children than me. There is no better mother for your children than you.

In fact, in my many foibles and failures, God may just be teaching my children and I something about Himself. There is so much grace that is revealed in our weakness. Here are just a few ways in which our faceplants and utter failures are teaching our children (and us) some wonderful lessons on the nature of being human and needing redemption.

{ONE} 

The True Nature of Love

Love is messy and hard. It is rarely all butterflies and rainbows and poetry and chocolate. The sweetness comes after the sweat. Love is work, not just platitudes. Love is a whole slew of "I'm sorry" and "let's try again" and "I forgive you"s. Love is dying to yourself for the good of another, and death is painful. There is beauty and sweetness and peace and fulfillment. It just comes with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears sometimes. 

{TWO} 

The True Face of Joy

Joy isn't about being on Cloud 9 forever and always. In fact, joy and sorrow are most times two sides of the same coin. Joy comes from being able to swim through the tears and the sorrows and the frustration to come out on the other end with a sure knowledge that all shall be well. It is trusting that the victory has been won, so we can rejoice in that when everything else starts falling apart. 

{THREE} 

Grace Abounds in Failure

Failure is not death. Sin does not win. One thing that I am certain my own shortcomings can teach my children is that they should not fear failure. It can be embarrassing for certain, but in that moment God's grace is already hard at work making something good from it. Of course, as St. Paul reminds us, this doesn't mean that we should try to fail or sin. Certainly we aspire to succeed, to put a little extra into the ordinary. However, if things don't work out, if we stumble, there is grace enough to pick us up and keep us going if we let it. We can be schools of grace for one another in our failures at home. 

{FOUR} 

Mercy is Always New

There is always a new dawn after a dark night. We all make mistakes. Just as God's mercy is never-ending, ours can be too. Somehow we find a way to start again, over and over and over and over. We wipe the slate clean for our children as they learn and grow and rebel and yell...sometimes right alongside us. Our errors and failings give us a chance to experience (and extend) that mercy.

{FIVE} 

There is Strength in Humility

It is okay to admit when you are wrong and that you don't always have the answers. It is okay to ask for help. It is good to know and admit your weaknesses. It is in them that Christ is able to give you strength. When we are less than perfect, it is such a rich opportunity to show our children how to be confident in the face of their shortcomings. We teach them that our worth doesn't come from being perfect by any definition. We are worthy because we are created in the image and likeness of God - nothing else. 

{SIX} 

Endurance Wins the Race

Until our dying day, we continue to have the opportunity to get it more right than the day before. Some days we will fall flat on our faces, but we dust ourselves off and keep on trying. What a fantastic lesson for our children to take with them. There is nothing so big that it can make Him turn away from us - nothing. If we keep on trying, if we keep running (or walking, or crawling) to Him, there is no bellyflop, wipeout, nosedive - nada - that will separate us from the love of God. Even if it the tiniest little step, you just have to keep going. 

{SEVEN} 

Life is a Masterpiece if Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture

There is rarely a day that goes by without me beating myself up for something. A harsh word, not putting my phone down, not cleaning, having laundry piled up, wasting time, being ungrateful - something. As a photographer, I realized a few years ago that I needed to keep a photo journal of life moments throughout the day. (In more recent times, that journal is called Instagram.) What I have discovered is that looking back over those snippets of my days, the same days where I am berating myself for not being "more," there is so much grace and beauty and joy and wonder. In the big picture, my failures don't add up to the same majesty as the grace and joy and beauty and love and wonder and all the good things...and there are so many good things. Much like an impressionist painting, if we take too much time to examine things really close up, it will look a mess. If we step back and see how those messes come together - voila! Life is a masterpiece.

So, you see, mama? Being perfect isn't the bees knees. Why chase after a mirage when there is such richness and virtue in our real, imperfect selves? Our kids deserve nothing less than the real moms they've got - and that's the way God designed it! What is God teaching your brood through the messes of your life?

Until next time, let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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Have Courage & Be Kind: Bringing Magic to Life

We tend to be riding on the comet tail of trends in this house, and getting to the movies is no different. On Mother's Day, the ladies of the Casa finally made it to go see Cinderella. Thankfully it was still playing at a theater near us and for amazingly low matinee rates that included free popcorn! I digress.

While the live action format of this classic fairy tale was a little too involved to keep the four year old's attention through the nearly two hour movie, she was captivated at all the magical parts and picked up on the basic themes. Mean stepmother and sisters, magical fairy godmothers, beautiful weddings and princes. The basics were all there for the four year old.

For me, it was amusing to see Rose and Daisy of Downton fame battling it out on the big screen. Rose, grown up and exuding a brilliant innocence that gave proper homage to the pure in spirit, and Daisy, embracing a sillier, baser side of cluelessness and things of the world. Getting to the retelling of a classic story, what I truly loved was the simplicity with which the movie captured some very basic truths and brought them magically to life. Ella's mother's words, of course, permeate the whole story: "have courage and be kind" - words echoing the timeless message of the saints. 

"Be not afraid." 

"Love one another."

This adaptation of Cinderella did a superb job of making these big messages spring to life. Here are a few other lessons I hope Li'l G takes with her through the years to keep on bringing the magic of Cinderella to life. 

I pray that as a mother, I can instill in both my children a deep understanding of who they are - children of God. I hope they take with them the knowledge that they are temples of the Holy Spirit, that they are loved and adored beyond their wildest dreams by the Creator of all.the.things. Life brings with it so many attacks on our identities, our confidence, and our self-worth. I pray that our children can cling to the Word and promises of Christ to know the truth about themselves in the face of bullies, users, and cheats. 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Could we as a culture be more obsessed with external beauty?!? Look younger, use {insert beauty product here}, get thinner, be hotter. The trouble here is that no amount of face cream, mascara, or fad diet will beautify the soul, which is what lights and animates us. Our beauty comes from much more than our external appearances. Was Cinderella beautiful? Of course! I hope that my children will learn that Cinderella's beauty had more to do with her kindness and joy than the locks of golden hair, though. 

How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the Gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things! Romans 10:15

Be it a stag in the forest or a thirsty old woman, it is by helping the least that you open yourself to the blessings in store for you. You may not captivate a secret prince, or uncover a fairy godmother, but I guarantee you will receive so much more than you give. Live boldly with sincerity and kindness, and you will turn heads. Instilling a spirit of holy boldness and generosity is a work in progress, but I hope it is a lesson my children will learn...and one I will embrace with more gusto myself!

He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

True confessions: I'm a complainer. I try not to be, but I am. I eventually come around to appreciating how much I have to be thankful for, but it is usually a "whinding" road that gets me there. What a beautiful example of joyful suffering Cinderella gives us! In this live action portrayal, she brings us this example so adeptly mixed with moments of despair in her true humanity. Sobbing by the smoldering fire, Cinderella feels she cannot fight any longer. How many of us feel that way so often? Still, she finds a way. She remains open to what is around her, to showing kindness, and in that her hope is restored. Her suffering does not close her eyes to the needs of others. In that, she finds her fairy godmother. 

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5

Was anyone else moved to tears when Cinderella turned around on her exit from the house with Prince Charming and said to her stepmother, "I forgive you." Such a brilliant, short piece of dialogue by those who adapted the fairy tale to this live action version. Throughout the movie, these pieces of understanding in Cinderella's character were woven into the story. When she first encounters the prince in the forest, her description of her situation - "They treat me as well as they are able," reveals an inner wisdom about the actions of others. Hurt people hurt people. Fallen people hurt people. Holding a grudge only eats away at our own soul. What Cinderella teaches us in those two short statements has monumental significance. Assume the best of one another, and forgive each other the foibles of our fallen humanity. It all goes back to that first lesson: we are all broken, and how someone treats you does not define you. How you treat them back does speak volumes about who you are, though. Forgive and seek the best of others. 

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13

If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It truly is captivating!

Now, embrace your inner Cinderella (or Prince Charming) and get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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{SQT} On Love, Motherhood, Recovery, and Art

--- 1 ---

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK: Here's a few posts that really spoke to my heart. 

Those People: This gets to the heart of what I mean by "we need to love better." I love Cate's heart and honesty. We are ALL "those people." 

Once a Mom, Always a Mom: Kim writes so beautifully about the loss of her child, and why Mother's Day still holds deep meaning for her. At a time when there are many who aren't so sure we should celebrate Mother's Day quite so fervently, Kim provides a great reason why we should. 

How Do I Love Thee?: In a world where the meaning of love is as diluted at my toddler's juice, Pope Francis continues to challenge us to love authentically, to remind us what - or rather who - the face of love is, and share it boldly in this world. 

--- 2 ---

Mother's Day. There has been quite a lot written and spoken this year about how difficult this day is and how we might best celebrate while still honoring that struggle. For too many, it is a day filled with heartache. Whether it is from the loss of a mother, the loss of a child, the inability to conceive a child, longing for a vocation that has yet to be fulfilled, or a terribly broken maternal relationship, Mother’s Day is not always a joyful day. 

In reality, it is impossible to escape the day. From the commercials and the cards, to the celebrations at church, Mother’s Day is everywhere. People want to celebrate the gift of life and life-giving, and that is not a bad thing. We need to be proclaiming the bringing forth of life as a good thing in a culture that does what it can to suppress motherhood. How do we celebrate that and still walk with those whose hearts are still breaking? Maybe, just maybe, the answer lies in the celebration itself. It is a day to celebrate motherhood. It isn't about the presents or the food or what I want. It is a day to honor the gift of giving our lives for someone else, to recognize the sacrifice of those who nurture life in another, the ache of those who long to nurture that life within them. 

This Mother's Day, what if we started a windfall of blessings for all those women who are struggling? Sure, I would love a quiet day with noise cancelling headphones. I know too many women, though, who would give anything to have a houseful of noise but live in silence instead. Sure, it can be overwhelming to figure out how to celebrate in our own family, while still honoring our mothers too. Sadly, I know too many who no longer have that struggle because their moms are no longer with them. Can we pick up the phone or write a note to our grieving friends to remind them we haven't forgotten them? Can we in our own festivities really embrace how much we have to celebrate? Let's love each other better this year instead of battling about how much is too much Mother's Day. 

--- 3 ---

If you asked me what my favorite season was, I would normally have said Autumn. I say this in the past tense, because as I have been out and about over the past few weeks, the beauty of spring has wooed me and stolen my heart. There is something this year that is reassuring about the budding of trees that were once bare for far too long, the flowers that adorn those trees and lawns, like jewels shimmering in a sea of green. People are out and about, the parks and yards are full of children...life blooms along with the flora. I'm not quitting autumn, but spring has certainly done a good job of flirting with me this year. Once my allergies hit, the love affair may be over though. 

--- 4 ---

Have you pre-ordered Audrey Assad's upcoming Hymns album yet? There is still time! I love Audrey's heart. She writes about how this hymns album came about:  

Making a record of hymns (which will be mostly traditionals but also some originals) will be a way in which I can, once again, nail the stakes of my tent down a little deeper into the ground, arm my heart with words of life, and say to the black vacuum of unbelief, you will not have me.

How many of us vacillate in that space between faith and despair? Art and music are such a powerful way for us to rekindle that connection to the something that exists beyond ourselves, to remind our souls of their lover. I can't wait for this new album (or to see her at Edel in July)! By the way, if you pre-order, she is making the creation of this new record very interactive - "a gift of the church to the church." Love.

--- 5 ---

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES: The kids came home from Nonna's on Sunday, and of all the post-surgery struggles, the biggest one is chasing these hooligans around. I was trying to explain why mommy can't snuggle with them or pick them up, and why they need to perhaps be a little better at listening. Judah, boy that he is, wanted to see my stitches. So I showed him. Then he kissed my "boo boo" (well, not exactly, but near it). That boy is a lover. An almost three year old crazy toddler lover.

This was after Gianna wanted to pick mommy flowers from the yard on their way in. She looooves to pick those flowers.

--- 6 ---

LIFE IN A FEW THOUSAND WORDS

--- 7 ---

In my convalescence, the time I wasn't passed out from the pain medication (which are awful by the way), I might have been guilty of a little impulse buying. A credit on the card and a book about mixed media techniques were just too dangerous a combination. It made for some fun times this afternoon!

That's all for this week. For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't The Lyceum! 

Until next time, get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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