7 Valuable Reasons I Allow My Children to Suffer

Yup. I'm that mom. I'm the one that you will see equally hovering over her child at the playground and telling them to shake it off when they fall or a kid won't play with them (minus a Taylor Swift impression). To some, I seem callous and unaffected. 

Truth? If it is a situation that has been magnified in a child's head to be the end of the world when there is little connection to the reality that surrounds her, I probably am less affected.  If it is a situation where there is immediate hurt, all I want to do is take it away. (I had to refrain here from differentiating between "real" and "perceived" hurt, because perceived hurts can feel very real.)

Don't get me wrong. Even in those situations where drama is a major player, I will of course talk with them after the fact about their feelings and allow them to talk it out. At the end of the day, though, what I refuse to do is to play into an idea that my children should never have to feel suffering or pain. Keeping my children from experiencing any suffering, or from a Christian perspective, keeping them from the experience of the cross and crucifixion, denies them the opportunity to grow in so many ways. 

It may make me feel better to not take them to the emergency room or to not see them cry. At the end of the day, though, I am only delaying the inevitable consequence. They will fall. They will fail. They will experience suffering. There are so many things I want to teach my children. If I hold them back from learning how to function in a world where we will have troubles, there are essential lessons they will never learn. Here are just a few.

1) There are natural consequences to our actions - if you jump off the play bridge when I ask you not to, you will likely hurt yourself. Better now, when it's a scraped knee or twisted ankle than later when the stakes are higher and it is your life. I have come across so many young people in my work at the collegiate level who simply don't understand the concept, "You reap what you sow." Your actions have natural reactions. Basic law of physics. (I hope Sheldon Cooper would be proud.) You cannot run forever, and there will not always be someone there to bail you out when those consequences come knocking on your door. You must think your actions through before you jump in head first. 

2) The world is not fair, and people are not treated equally. Just because mom and dad always made sure you and the siblings had equal portions, an equal number of toys, matching pajamas, and presents for everyone at every occasion, does not mean that is how the world works. There are days when the world is not celebrating you. It's okay. Life goes on. You are still special and important even if no one is greeting you with fanfare. Know who you are and cling tight to that. Jesus is fair, and at the end of time, that will be the only important thing. 

3) It's our job to speak up for those who have no voice. Because the world is not fair, we have to use what God has given us to work for the other, not just for ourselves. Because you have suffered, you know what it feels like. Don't inflict that suffering on anyone else, and when the world does pound the "other" down, be their cheering section. You know who you are as a child of God. Remind the downtrodden to Whom they belong also. 

4) You won't always be the best at everything and that is a marvelous thing. Guess what? You're going to fail, and that will be a great teacher. We don't expect you to do everything better than everyone else. We do expect that you will give your very best effort, not because you get an award at the end of the day, but because it is the right thing to do. We hope that you will discover through your successes AND failures what you are good at, what you are passionate about, and then live your life in pursuit of your purpose which is rooted in God and live it with passion. 

5) Failure brings with it the opportunity to lift up another's talents. It is precisely when we discover that we stink at something that the door opens for someone else to help us in that area. When we stop competing with one another about trivial things over some misplaced notion that we must be a one-man band, we can bring people onto our team who can help us complete our masterpiece. We are stronger together, especially in the midst of suffering.

6) Suffering produces endurance. Endurance will be essential in making it through life with any shred of joy or dignity. There is great satisfaction in beginning again when we fail, or in succeeding after great effort. If we give up any time we encounter resistance or hardship, we may as well stay in bed. (And that would be a bad thing. Really.) Plus, there is St. Paul's discourse from Romans (one of my favorite Scriptures) which shows us how suffering leads us to hope: 

And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

7) Suffering unites us to Christ. At the end of the day, if we withhold suffering from our children, we deny them the experience of uniting themselves to Christ on the cross. Jesus tells us over and over that we must take up our cross and follow Him. This is no different for our children. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. I think it is important to allow children to feel that consolation after great heartache.  

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am in no way saying that we should inflict suffering upon our younglings. Not. One. Bit. Our every instinct leads us to want to minimize pain for them out of love, and that is as it should be. What I am asserting is that we should allow our children to experience the reality of the world, a natural part of which includes pain, suffering, failure, and loss. If we do not teach them to be gracious losers, resilient failures, and compassionate sufferers, we do them and the world no favors. How many more self-indulgent, entitled adults do we need? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say zero.

It's not just about ditching the participation trophies, though that's a good start. It is about something so much deeper that holds such greater importance. Follow Christ, my dears. You will fall. You will be pierced. You will suffer. I promise you . . . or rather Jesus promises you this in return: you will rise in His glory. So much better than a dusty, plastic trophy and no scars to show your kids when you're older. 

Until next time, let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus, even in the midst of suffering!

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Loving Lavishly: How to Re-brand the Church of No

"Post-modern people are much more intrigued by our hope than our doctrine. Until our existential hope, our serenity, our wholeness, our love, our sanctity is visible, they won't listen to our propositions." ~ Sherry Weddell, Catherine of Siena Institute

I found this to be wholly true while working in young adult ministry. Whilst sitting in a coffee shop intentionally loitering, I once had a half hour conversation with a young woman I "loitered into" who said she had left the church because she never found Christ there. It is shocking to think that people can step into a Catholic Church and not find Jesus. What she found were people who were obsessed with getting out of Mass on time, rude to one another, unconcerned with their neighbors, and complaining about church altogether. 

Her question to me was direct. "Where is the joy?" If we believe the gospel message to be true, where is our joy? Where is our hope and enthusiasm? Where is our love for one another? Where is our thirst for more of Christ? Those were great questions for me to consider both as a minister and as a disciple. If we are not setting ourselves apart from the rest of the world in an attractive way (and by this I mean not just arguing about sexual morality), what draws and woos the nonbeliever toward the heart of Christ?

When I think of the faith I hope to pass on to my children, it doesn't involve a list of dos and don'ts. What I wish for them is a deep and abiding friendship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I hope that they take with them a intimate understanding of how beloved they are, how much their God loves them in and through anything, no matter how dark or dirty - that their Father in heaven waits for them always with arms outstretched ready to dust them off and pick them up when they turn to Him. Anywhere. Anytime. Forever. I hope that this understanding leads them to heed His word and commands, because they are made in love for their good.

Another friend once lamented that he wished that when people heard the word Catholic, they thought of compassion, mercy, and love instead of rules. I found that to be such an insightful and sad statement about my family. After all, we are a family in Christ. It cannot be denied that our family is known more for its rules and restrictions than the love we show the world. We have become the Church of No. It is heartbreaking, especially given that the Church is the largest provider of social and charitable services throughout the world. 

There are usually two responses when I bring this up. One is a disposition to put the blame on the seeker. "Christ is most fully in OUR church. They are just ignorant." Another is to blame the church. "Well if the Church would get with the times, this wouldn't be an issue. The Church needs to get over itself." Both leave gaping holes and fail to address the issue, in my humble opinion. Where do I think the problem lies? I think it lies with me. For that matter, I may also think it lies with you. Sorry. You're not off the hook. 

I don't love lavishly enough. We don't give abundantly enough. My God is a lavish Lover. He waits to pour out His mercy, His love, His joy, His hope into the hearts of every person on this earth. I'm too wrapped up in myself to help make that happen. I see limitations. I get embroiled in the struggles of daily life. I put up walls to protect myself and hold back. I make judgments on who I have time for and who I do not.

Gaudium et Spes, one of the many documents to come out of the Second Vatican Council, instructs us very clearly on this matter. In it, the Council fathers wrote, 

The joys and the hopes, the griefs and the anxieties of the men of this age, especially those who are poor or in any way afflicted, these are the joys and hopes, the griefs and anxieties of the followers of Christ. GS, 1

How do we then begin to shift public opinion about the Catholic Church? How do we make sure that when people think of the Church they experience Jesus? We take on the joys and sorrows of the world. We go about our Father's business. We lead with love. We reclaim the beatitudes. We approach one another with "Blessed are you. . ." instead of "woe to you. . ." We return to an active participation in the Works of Mercy, both spiritual and corporal. We never let ourselves to be so filled with sorrow that we forget the joy of the resurrection (thank you, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta!).

This is not to say that the Truth is not important. It is simply to say this: If we are so focused on the morality of the church that we forget to proclaim the person of Christ, we ourselves have missed the point. If we forget that we are not here to win people over to "our side" but to lead souls to the heart of Christ, we may accomplish neither. If we are so scandalized by the secular that we fail to engage it, we will never woo anyone to the Lover of every soul. 

How we live and what we say should help a person to come to know that the God of the universe, the Creator of every star in the sky and every drop in the ocean, who is magnanimous, omniscient, and omnipotent, took on human flesh in all its frailty, out of love for us, in the person of Jesus Christ, and offered it back up again in death so He could lead us back to eternal life with the Father.

What does all this mean? While there is not a one-size-fits-all approach, here are a few suggestions based on my experiences and interactions with non-believers and non-Catholics (and having been one!):

1) Live with authentic joy. This doesn't mean a plastic cheeriness in all things. It means that at the end of the day, even in our greatest sorrow, we live with confidence and hope in a victory that has already been won.

2) Tame your tongue. Speak only words that lift up and encourage. Avoid the temptation to be judge, jury, and jailer. Lead people by example to the freedom that lies in following Christ.

3) Lead with love. Help people to fall in love with Jesus. Show them how much the Father loves them in and despite the condition of their lives. Serve them. Pray for and with them. Grieve with them. Suffer with them. See them when they feel invisible. Love them when they feel unlovable. Notice the little things and rejoice with them. Let others know they are not alone.

4) Engage others where they are. Find common ground and language to help them begin to see how God is working in their lives and through their experiences.

5) Seek after Jesus. Deepen your own life in Christ, and live it out loud. Pray before meals. Read the Bible in public. Walk away from gossip. Let your example create curiosity, and invite others to seek Christ with you.

Together, we can re-brand ourselves from a Church of No into what we truly are: a refuge for all of humanity to encounter transformative love in the person of Christ so we can all be reunited with our Creator in the eternal Kingdom. How do you introduce people to the person of Christ?

We've got some work to do. Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus (all the way TO Jesus)!

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Edel Recap: Take One {Punching Satan In the Face}

It was a whirlwind weekend, dear readers. The whole Edel Gathering experience seems like it took place over at least a week, but in reality it was just a brief 36 hours. A day and a half of laughing, loving, crying, enduring the heat with the reality that there would not be a shower in the near future, many long-awaited hugs and "selfies," and a few drinks here and there. Maybe.

As an introvert (yes, I really am no matter how crazy I can act!), I know that the fruits from this weekend won't really begin to fully hit me with their best shot until I'm able to revisit all those wonderful moments. I give you below what I call Take One of my reflections from this weekend. Knowing how my mind works, you can fully expect that as the experience unfolds over the next several days and weeks, there will be more. But first up, a look at punching satan in the face. Thank you Kelly Mantoan for that image. My life (and my family's) is forever changed.

I was on my final flight with a tiny shrapnel of battery life left on my phone and this came across my Twitter and Instagram feed:

“Extremists have shown what frightens them most: a girl with a book.” - @malalafund

I knew right then what I needed to write about first, because satan is an extremist when it comes to trying to lure us away from the love of God. Enter the Edel Gathering. Ladies, it's clear that satan be running scared given all the hiccups and hijinks we all experienced leading to and during our time together.

Satan has shown us what frightens him this weekend. A hotel full of life-giving, soul searching, faithful women of God coming together to build community, however sweat-drenched and showerless they may be. In this community we find the Aaron and Hur to our Moses, the ones who will hold us up when the battle makes us tired. We find our Veronica, who wipes us clean when we have fallen and the tears have stained our faces. We find that soft, gentle breeze whispering the truth of God as we peek out of our caverns (or bathrooms) where we have barricaded ourselves amid life's storms. We find our people. Our tribe. Our family. Ourselves.

We find Him who our soul loves, and Who loves our whole being to death and back to life again.

Gazing at the Lover of my soul as He gazes upon me.

God is calling us through this experience of sisterhood with a smattering of women, of His daughters, to go back to our homes and build sacred space for the sisters in our backyards. He is calling us to be the face of joy, but to open our arms to shelter our sisters' sorrows. He is calling us to share our weirdness with the world (within measure of course) so all our sisters know they belong.

Why? Because God knows darkness fears a woman of light.

Satan fears us because he knows God has made us to build cathedrals and to nurture temples where His Holy Spirit resides. Satan knows that when we come together and shed ourselves of false piety and the facade of propriety and begin to build places where it is safe to air out our wounds and bring our shame to the light, we will no longer live in that wounded shame but be stronger in Christ. Satan knows when women come together in unity and solidarity that we give each other the strength to take our spirit, our gifts, our life-giving love back to our families and build them up to fight another day.

Sister in Christ joined together in prayer outside the AME Emmanuel Church
where nine people were senselessly murdered. Mercy and grace won. Praise God!

What does all this mean in the context of our own lives, though? As tempting as it may be because we are conditioned by our structured environments, I don't think it means we go home and create more women's groups and fellowships. It just isn't enough.

One of the fruits of Edel in my own heart has been a desire to love my people better. I want serve my people better. I want the idea of loving better not to be just an abstract thought of what we need to do as disciples in a broken world, but rather a desire that is grafted into my DNA that spurs me to action despite my own brokenness and selfishness. Who are my people? They are God's people, so . . . all people.

Maybe, just maybe, this desire is about keeping our eyes open to notice those around us who seem weary and worse for the wear. Maybe it is reaching out in those moments just to let them know they are not alone, that whatever they are facing, God is with them, and we can be too. Maybe, it is being humble enough to admit when that person is us and being willing to raise the white flag of surrender and shoot up an SOS to our tribe. Maybe it is sitting outside an empty ballroom and making that a safe space to let down our walls and just be, so we can laugh and cry and say things we shouldn't, and the one thing we should: me too, sister, me too.

We do all this within our vocations and to strengthen our vocations, not hiding from our womanhood, but embracing the beauty and variety within it. We shatter that notion that there is one way for holiness to look as a woman because satan wants to trap us there to trick us into thinking we are not enough. He wants to cajole us into desiring another life instead of surrendering in thanksgiving to the one we have so we can set the world on fire. The only fire he wants is the fires of hell. What I am convinced of this through this weekend is that when you get a group of faithful, honest women together, you can unleash the fire of the Holy Spirit and with that fire we can light the world out of darkness into the bright, burning light of the love of God.

We may not have started the fire, Billy Joel, but we know Him who did and we can keep it going until the whole world is ablaze!

Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus! 

Short PostScript:

{Husbands - please do not feel excluded. You hold our hands, dry our tears, face our anger with steadfast love, dream our dreams, and fight alongside us. And yet, there are some parts of us that for all the tea in India, just mystify you. Admit it - there are times when we make zero sense. This is where the sisterhood comes in for you. Just send them in and breathe easy, dear man. Breathe easy.}

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Become an Ambassador Of Love

I went to confession yesterday. Apparently, I was not the only one who felt a need for a little soul scrubbing. In fact, the room was packed and there was a line down the hall. It was so full that the solo priest hearing confessions may have asked us to say our Act of Contrition before entering. I won't go into how I feel about that.

My desire to lay all my garbage at the foot of the cross to be lifted up in mercy initially had nothing to do with the events that had transpired at the end of the week. However, as I prayed about what I was truly seeking freedom from through the sacrament, I realized something. While it may not have been the cause for me to feel ill at ease with the health of my soul, it was certainly contributing to my unease. The "it" my friends was not the actual decision by the Supreme Court to recognize same-sex marriage. At this stage of our culture, I already assumed that to be a foregone conclusion. The "it" that had me so bothered internally had to do with our own reactions to this development. 

So many of those whom I look to for direction and inspiration in faith and morals seemed to have lost their center. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. There was fear. There was resignation. There was excessive melodrama. There was a whole lot of spiraling forward into a bleak future. 

Don't get me wrong. I understand. I do. Our understanding of the world was shaken...or was it? Don't we as Christians still believe the same thing? Isn't our witness needed as much today as it was yesterday? Is all our wailing and toddler-sized tantrum throwing giving witness to our firm faith and confidence that Jesus has already overcome the world? I'd answer that with a GIANT no.

How do we move forward in faith? This question was nagging on my heart as I sat waiting to make my confession. What is it Christ is calling ME to do...or not do? I want to write and speak volumes because I don't want to remain silent. Yet, is that what God is calling me to do? Would all my speaking and writing bring one heart closer to Him? What about all those friends and family I love who are rejoicing with the change of the law in the land? How would my words help them know my love and God's love amid my conviction that as humans we cannot simply legislate natural law away?

You know what I discovered? I have NO idea. That's what. I don't know what the right thing to say is that both affirms the dignity of my LGBT friends and family and acknowledges the pain and suffering they have endured while also sharing what I believe to be God's design for love, life, and humanity. I don't. I just don't. I just got on my knees and threw up my hands and prayed. 

Make me an instrument of your peace, of your love, of your truth. 

May those who see me know You...know Your love, know Your mercy, know Your goodness. 

Why? I am an ambassador of Christ. I am NOT Christ. My job is to bring people to Him, and I will not do that through lectures and tantrums. I will not do that by turning away from those I disagree with or getting into a battle of Facebook statuses and profile pictures. The only way I can be an ambassador of Christ is to be a stranger in a strange land willing to open my heart and walk alongside the people He sends my way, friend and stranger alike.

I got home to read a few more Facebook updates, and this time, I was encouraged - so very encouraged. The first was from the Archdiocese of Denver and their response. 

We here at the Denver Catholic figure that we have two options for how to respond going foward:

Go on the defensive. We've clearly lost the culture war, but we can try to convince the public that our view is the correct one.

Realize that we don't live in a Christian culture, and therefore must engage it as missionaries.

Option one is equivalent to declaring ourselves victims. Option two is to accept the challenge of living as authentic followers of Jesus Christ in a world that has largely forgotten Him.

Jesus Christ is real. We Christians have experienced the sweetness of a personal relationship with Him. Our mission is not to punish or coerce those who have not experienced this—instead, we must invite them into relationship. What better way to do this than to show the joy of living the Catholic faith?

The other was from Fr. Newman of St. Mary's parish in Greenville, South Carolina:

Christians must let go of nostalgia for our faded Christian civilization in order to build it again. If we can see the collapse of cultural Christianity as a great evangelical opportunity, then with joy and love we can proclaim Jesus Christ crucified and risen to the millions of people who now have only debonair nihilism to help them understand the purpose and meaning of their lives.

This was my answer to prayer. This made me feel less guilty about not being infuriated. (Yeah, I felt guilty about not losing it because maybe it meant that I wasn't devoted enough to the law of God.) This gave me...HOPE. And here the Spirit soars. Hope. Joy. Love - authentic love. As we move forward from this monumental day (and it is monumental in our cultural understanding of the nature of man, woman, and humanity), this is the answer. 

Share the joy and hope of Christ. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Love and serve your neighbor in humility.

You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:42-45

Remember that we are not victims, and fear of the future is not from God.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

We are missionaries and ambassadors of the Most High. Claim it in love, and remember that love comes with a cross.

For the love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died. And he died for all, so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised for them...So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, 20

Always remember that our actions speak far louder than our words.

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17

A friend shared this quote today, and it summed up the future for me perfectly.

"Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people; before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children; before you preach to me of your passion for your faith, teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors. In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give." - Cory Booker

The fact is that everything has changed, and nothing has changed all at once. No matter the hurricane around us, we stand firm in He who even the seas obey. No matter the prevailing sentiments of the day, we stand firm in our understanding of who we are designed to be by He who made us. No matter what is thrown at us, we must remain constant in our love for our neighbor. Jesus thirsts for them as He thirsts for us. Let us love first so that we can lead others to Christ. It is Jesus that changes hearts, not us, after all. Let's be sure we are letting Him direct ours and conform it to His. 

Want to know a secret? This is my prayer at every confession and before receiving the Eucharist. Take my heart, Lord, and conform it to Yours. It belongs to You. Lead me and transform me, all I have is Yours. Help me to see everyone as You do. Help me to thirst for them as You do, and to meet all with Love, as You do.

Another secret? I fail miserably, but He dusts me off so I can try again. I've got a feeling there will be a lot of scraped knees as we move forward in this new reality. We will stumble. We will fall. We will give into our temptations to preach and lecture and debate and fear. I know I will. The beautiful thing is that we are not alone in this, so we can remind one another to get up and walk in love and peace and joy instead. 

Go. Preach the Gospel. Serve your neighbor. Let our love be sincere and let us overcome hatred with goodness. Love 'em like Jesus - to the cross and back again...

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{SQT} On Love, Motherhood, Recovery, and Art

--- 1 ---

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK: Here's a few posts that really spoke to my heart. 

Those People: This gets to the heart of what I mean by "we need to love better." I love Cate's heart and honesty. We are ALL "those people." 

Once a Mom, Always a Mom: Kim writes so beautifully about the loss of her child, and why Mother's Day still holds deep meaning for her. At a time when there are many who aren't so sure we should celebrate Mother's Day quite so fervently, Kim provides a great reason why we should. 

How Do I Love Thee?: In a world where the meaning of love is as diluted at my toddler's juice, Pope Francis continues to challenge us to love authentically, to remind us what - or rather who - the face of love is, and share it boldly in this world. 

--- 2 ---

Mother's Day. There has been quite a lot written and spoken this year about how difficult this day is and how we might best celebrate while still honoring that struggle. For too many, it is a day filled with heartache. Whether it is from the loss of a mother, the loss of a child, the inability to conceive a child, longing for a vocation that has yet to be fulfilled, or a terribly broken maternal relationship, Mother’s Day is not always a joyful day. 

In reality, it is impossible to escape the day. From the commercials and the cards, to the celebrations at church, Mother’s Day is everywhere. People want to celebrate the gift of life and life-giving, and that is not a bad thing. We need to be proclaiming the bringing forth of life as a good thing in a culture that does what it can to suppress motherhood. How do we celebrate that and still walk with those whose hearts are still breaking? Maybe, just maybe, the answer lies in the celebration itself. It is a day to celebrate motherhood. It isn't about the presents or the food or what I want. It is a day to honor the gift of giving our lives for someone else, to recognize the sacrifice of those who nurture life in another, the ache of those who long to nurture that life within them. 

This Mother's Day, what if we started a windfall of blessings for all those women who are struggling? Sure, I would love a quiet day with noise cancelling headphones. I know too many women, though, who would give anything to have a houseful of noise but live in silence instead. Sure, it can be overwhelming to figure out how to celebrate in our own family, while still honoring our mothers too. Sadly, I know too many who no longer have that struggle because their moms are no longer with them. Can we pick up the phone or write a note to our grieving friends to remind them we haven't forgotten them? Can we in our own festivities really embrace how much we have to celebrate? Let's love each other better this year instead of battling about how much is too much Mother's Day. 

--- 3 ---

If you asked me what my favorite season was, I would normally have said Autumn. I say this in the past tense, because as I have been out and about over the past few weeks, the beauty of spring has wooed me and stolen my heart. There is something this year that is reassuring about the budding of trees that were once bare for far too long, the flowers that adorn those trees and lawns, like jewels shimmering in a sea of green. People are out and about, the parks and yards are full of children...life blooms along with the flora. I'm not quitting autumn, but spring has certainly done a good job of flirting with me this year. Once my allergies hit, the love affair may be over though. 

--- 4 ---

Have you pre-ordered Audrey Assad's upcoming Hymns album yet? There is still time! I love Audrey's heart. She writes about how this hymns album came about:  

Making a record of hymns (which will be mostly traditionals but also some originals) will be a way in which I can, once again, nail the stakes of my tent down a little deeper into the ground, arm my heart with words of life, and say to the black vacuum of unbelief, you will not have me.

How many of us vacillate in that space between faith and despair? Art and music are such a powerful way for us to rekindle that connection to the something that exists beyond ourselves, to remind our souls of their lover. I can't wait for this new album (or to see her at Edel in July)! By the way, if you pre-order, she is making the creation of this new record very interactive - "a gift of the church to the church." Love.

--- 5 ---

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES: The kids came home from Nonna's on Sunday, and of all the post-surgery struggles, the biggest one is chasing these hooligans around. I was trying to explain why mommy can't snuggle with them or pick them up, and why they need to perhaps be a little better at listening. Judah, boy that he is, wanted to see my stitches. So I showed him. Then he kissed my "boo boo" (well, not exactly, but near it). That boy is a lover. An almost three year old crazy toddler lover.

This was after Gianna wanted to pick mommy flowers from the yard on their way in. She looooves to pick those flowers.

--- 6 ---

LIFE IN A FEW THOUSAND WORDS

--- 7 ---

In my convalescence, the time I wasn't passed out from the pain medication (which are awful by the way), I might have been guilty of a little impulse buying. A credit on the card and a book about mixed media techniques were just too dangerous a combination. It made for some fun times this afternoon!

That's all for this week. For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't The Lyceum! 

Until next time, get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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National Day of Prayer 2015: Lord Hear Our Prayer

Today marks the 64th Annual National Day of Prayer. At a time when it seems like the senselessness of tragedy and human cruelty is at its height, let us take this time to give thanks to God for all we have - joys and sorrows alike - and turn to Him in complete surrender. I think it is high time that we admit that we do not have the answers on our own, than our rugged individualism has led us astray, and return to the Lord on our knees crying out for mercy and right understanding. 

Let's put aside our differences, political and otherwise, and put our hope in Christ alone. We belong to no one but Him.

Please join me in prayer this day for our families, our communities, our nation, and the whole of humanity. (Feel free to leave specific prayer requests in the comments or use the prayer request form on the right.) Pray for an end to violence and a culture of death. Pray for a return to authentic love. Pray for the victory of conscience and the abolition of the tyranny of intolerance in the name of tolerance. Pray for truth to reign and for hearts to be healed. Pray that we might learn to give thanks and rejoice with one another instead of climbing on and over our neighbors in an endless race to more of nothing. Pray without ceasing. 

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15 Ways to Start a Revolution - The Love Dare Reimagined

True confessions time: I may have bitten off more than I can chew for Lent (and we aren't even a week in!). I thought it would be easy to find places for us to send cards, love notes, prayers in bulk. I was wrong. For good reasons, I was wrong. 

I had intended to start our project by sending love to our troops stationed overseas. Not having served or having anyone in service in our family, I had not considered that the military or the Archdiocese of the Military would not release addresses freely. Quite prudently, they must protect the safety of our men and women serving overseas. They had some great suggestions in lieu of my initial desires, though. One was to find a VA Hospital to work with, and another was to contact a local family with members serving overseas. My friend, Jennifer, also suggested working with the Wounded Warriors project. All excellent suggestions!

My next goal was to send notes and pictures to children who are in the hospital with long-term or terminal illnesses. While there is not the same safety concern, and we are not asking for names because I know full well that is crossing a boundary with minors for certain, there is the concern of deciding who would get noticed and who would not. We would never want to leave a child out, and without having a good way of knowing how many patients were on a floor or in a ward, it was just too daunting a project. One suggestion since my initial inquiry is to work with a local charity who grants wishes or supports families with sick children, and that is exactly what we will be doing.

Once I get some concrete information about where to mail our notes and artwork (because what is a day at Casa McCormick without artwork?), I will share them on the blog as much as I can. 

All these doors closing on me made me wonder if I was barking up the wrong tree, or doing something that perhaps God didn't want me to be doing over Lent. Then Patty from A Modern Grace left me an note quoting Blessed Mother Teresa, and it hit me. I was just going about it all the wrong way. I was thinking too abstract, too big, too global. I should have turned to my Saint Sister a lot sooner. Once I did, the answer was right in front of me, and shared in the theme of the responses I had been getting. Go local. 

Blessed Mother Teresa always encouraged us to start at home, to begin in our own communities. She encouraged us to create a ripple effect of love that would then spread out across the ocean - not because we went across the ocean, but because we would, by our love to those near us, inspire them to love, and they would inspire others, and so on. That is now what the focus of our Lenten Love Dare will be. Local. Loving those at home. Loving those God puts in our path in a bold way. Loving without fear. 

If you are looking for some concrete examples, here are a handful or two or three:

1. Call a long lost friend.
2. Apologize to someone who you have wronged, but never owned up to hurting.
3. Send a note of encouragement to a friend.
4. Thank someone who has made your life easier.
5. Send your mom some flowers.
6. Tell your parents what they mean to you.
7. Write each of your children a note about your love for them.
8. Write a note of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you, whether they have made amends or not. Leave it at the foot of the cross.
9. Invite a relative or friend who is struggling to church and a meal.
10. Offer a Holy Hour for someone and let them know you are praying for them.
11. If you know someone serving overseas, put together a care package for them.
12. If you know of a family experiencing serious illness, reach out to them and see what they might need.
13. If you know of a family in the midst of grief, make an effort to spend some time with them. 
14. If you know someone who is struggling with addiction, say a prayer to St. Jude for them and send a special intention to be placed at the altar at the National Shrine of St. Jude
15. If you know someone who is incarcerated, send them a note of encouragement and a prayer card. 

There are so many other ways for us to shower our communities with the love of God. This may be one of those times where instead of thinking big, it is more effective to think small and constant. Please join us in this Lenten Love Dare, and let us know how you are working on loving better. Feel free to use the image below in your posts and use the tag #PPDlovedare on social media. Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

An InLinkz Link-up

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Project Empty: Letting Go of Ourselves

...all of a sudden,I am unaware 

of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,

Oh, how He loves us,

How He loves us all

David Crowder Band, How He Loves

Is your heart full? Do you feel the weight of His love pressing on your heart until it seems it will burst into a million pieces? There are days where I do, but more often there are days where it goes unnoticed. This Lent, all of my grand planning has but one goal - to empty myself of me to make more room for Him. 

Some of the emptying is bodily (via our Whole30 discipline). Some of the emptying is environmental (via the 40 Bags in 40 Days). Some of the emptying is mental (via the phone fast in the evenings). All of the emptying is so I can let the love of Christ be what fills me. I empty myself of convenience, of laziness, of me, and learn to depend solely on Him - to trust His Word and His promises, to rely on His providence, to fall on His grace to comfort and sustain me when it gets tough.

I can never experience the greatest magnitude of His glory if I design my life to be one of comfort and convenience, where there is no struggle, no effort, no affliction. So I enter into Lent with great plans I know will likely fail at some point, because I am human. I enter in trusting that my earnest effort will please Him. I enter in with the hope that as I empty myself of me, the Lord will fill my heart to burst, so that it cannot help but overflow into a Love-starved world. I enter in with a great desire to pass that thirst for the love of the Lord into the hearts of my children, along with the desire to pour out that love upon others.

I invite you to join us in this great Lenten Love Dare. I haven't figured out all the details as of yet, though I trust the Holy Spirit will guide us at his own pace. What I do know is that each week, our family will be focusing on a group of people suffering affliction and attempting to pour out love upon them. Prisoners, soldiers overseas, terminally ill children, the elderly, the homeless...people at risk of feeling discarded by society. Through creating spiritual bouquets, collecting prayer aids, and however else the Holy Spirit leads, we will share the love of God. We will let people know that they are not forgotten. We will remind them that their lives have meaning. We will share with them what we know in our hearts: God has created each of us for a purpose.

In the words of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, "Each of us is willed. Each of us is loved. Each of us is necessary."

As I iron out the specifics involved, I will share our weekly projects. I triple dog dare you to join us!

Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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Project Empty: Don't Be an Amoeba

I admit it. There are times I need to be hit over the head with a copper kettle before I start to pay attention. When I gave in to my word of the year, I knew this whole year would be somehow filled with those moments. Empty is hard, especially when you have been fighting empty for so long. 

Nevertheless, there it is. Empty is still hitting me over the head. The flavor of the day is perfection and comparison. It began last night as I read this status update from Lysa TerKeurst:

"Dear Lord, forgive me for all of the times I've compared myself to others. I know that You have hand-picked all of my qualities. Help me to see these things as beautiful reminders of Your great love in creating me as your daughter. In Jesus' name, Amen." 

Well, then. There you have it. Not only is comparison the thief of joy, it is the thief of grace. God has created me, all of me. Why do I think I need to do it all, and be it all, all of the time? Why does seeing someone else succeed at times give me tinges of guilt at the things I am not accomplishing? In addition to wreaking havoc on my own psyche and spirit, the drive for perfectionism wreaks havoc on the body of Christ. 

Our shortcomings serve a purpose. While many of us are quick to believe we must be the best at everything, that just isn't God's plan. Certainly, we strive to do and be our best at all times, but that is far from the stench of perfectionism. As St. Paul writes, in the body of Christ there are many members, but one body, no one part dispensable or more important that the other. 

If we cannot, in humility, acknowledge and embrace our shortcomings, we elevate ourselves over one another. We deny others the ability to use what God has given them to share. If I can do it all, I have no need of you. We risk becoming an entire body in and of ourselves, comprised of only one cell. We become an amoeba, not a human. 

I say this as a reminder to myself. Failure and weakness are part of the human experience...perhaps even a strength of the human experience in that it opens us to the grace of God. 

Grace-filled isn't always graceful. It doesn't mean that I am always floating gently above the surface, devoid of emotion or failure. Yes, by definition, that is hard to reconcile. When I explore the fullness of the words, graceful evokes images of ballerinas leaping as though lighter than air, ladies walking with perfect posture in heels and pearls. I don't think that is the graceful that Christ desires of us, or the expectation I want to pass on to my daughter (or son, for that matter.) When I use the word grace-filled, a very different image appears. An empty pitcher, being filled with water, grace being poured out onto an empty and open soul. Grace-filled.

It isn't when I am somehow perfectly hovering above the messiness of life that I am most graceful. It is precisely when I have fallen on my giant patootie that I am most filled with grace. It is when I am fallen and dirty and beaten that there is more likely room for grace to enter in and fill me to the full. 

I was once told a story about Native American weavers. It was said that when these artisans would weave their tapestries, they would always leave a little hole, a little imperfection, where the spirit could enter. That image has always stuck with me in a powerful way. God has allowed the same in us after the fall, but we spend countless hours and millions upon millions of dollars trying to eliminate the imperfections that may be our very ticket to grace. 

How much simpler life would be if we instead perfected the ability to embrace our quirky idiosyncrasies, the thorns in our flesh, the faceplants and facepalms, and learned to laugh and surround ourselves with the body of Christ. Surely we would find that we are stronger together, that you can do what I cannot, and I can do what you cannot. It is possible that we would learn that our weaknesses do not make us worthless, but rather in them we realize our true worth to a God who comes to lift us up through them. Perhaps we would be quicker to remember that God alone is perfect, and even He comes united in three persons. 

Now there is a lesson I want my children to learn.

Wishing you and yours a year of grace-filled moments, bruises and all!

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Do We Need to Keep Christ in Christmas...?

Photo from WikiCommons

I see the signs floating around this time of year. Some find their way to a church lawn, others find their way onto a bumper or window. "Keep Christ in Christmas," they say. I understand the sentimentality. I do, I really do. In a world where Christmas merchandise is available along with our Halloween decorations, all roughly thirty seconds after the back-to-school sales have ended, I understand. In a world where Santa is busily Ho-Ho-Ho-ing you to buy more, do more, be more this Christmas, I understand why we could be drawn to the sentiment. 

If you'll forgive me, though, I must argue that it is a misguided sentiment. It may even err on the side of a narcissistic fantasy that we determine whether Christ is or isn't in any THING. Christ, the Lord of all, Savior, Redeemer, Son of God and Son of Man, hardly needs us to keep Him in anything or any season. Christ was, is, and always shall be the core of Christmas. The Mass of Christ. It belongs to Him.

On the converse, where are our hearts? Are we showing up for Christmas? Are we allowing Christ to be our focus in this season, and truly, always? Are we allowing the incarnation of Christ, who was, is, and ever shall be to reign in our hearts every day, every minute, every breath, every second? Are we pouring ourselves out for our neighbors? Are we taking up our cross to follow Him? Are we allowing ourselves to die to selfishness and growing in virtue? Do we look at our neighbor as the "other" or do we see the image of God in them? 

Perhaps Christ would remain more visibly in Christmas if He were more visible in us every day of the year. I know there is whole heaping load of room for me to lose my self-focus and empty myself to make that more possible. 

Christ was, is, and always will be the heart of Christmas. The real question is, are we with Him?

Wishing you and yours a most joyous Christmas. May the love of God be poured out into your hearts to overflow, so that when the world now sees you, they see Him. 

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